Few people who ever sat down and planned a wedding will gush about how easy and stress-free the entire experience proved. Luckily, there exists more than a few tips and tricks to make everything flow relatively painlessly. Here's but a few…
Dos
1.) Keep a list. When planning any major event, most especially one as detailed as a wedding, staying organized with lists is an absolute must. Keep digital and analog ones together in folders to make sure no information gets lost.
2.) Draw up a definitive budget. The absolute first thing anyone getting married needs to do is sit down and write a viable budget. Refine it little by little as planning marches on, but always keep a rubric in mind when pricing services, clothing and venues. No event is worth incurring crushing debt over.
3.) Always keep guests in mind. Attendees with special needs such as food restrictions or disabilities should always be taken into consideration. They deserve to enjoy the day just as much as everyone else.
4.) Hire a wedding planner if things get too overwhelming. Assuming the budget allows, of course. Working with a competent, experienced wedding planner can certainly help alleviate some of the strain and get everything in order.
5.) Shop around. Never settle on the first vendor or venue that comes along. Take the time to research and explore every viable option. Otherwise the budget may creak under the pressure – or the services rendered won't prove up to snuff.
6.) Be courteous about assigned seating. Not every couple opts to assign seats at their ceremony or reception, but those electing to do so should keep some important things in mind. Try to avoid partnering up family and/or friends with volatile histories and/or incompatible personalities and politics together. Make sure the elderly, pregnant and anyone else with a difficult time moving around sits close to the food for easy acess.
7.) Put together an "emergency kit." Shortly before the big day arrives, throw together a small "emergency" kit full of the following items: needles, thread, extra buttons, and over-the-counter medications for headaches, cold and allergies. Add or subtract things as required by the event's unique needs.
8.) Reward wedding party members. They aren't slaves, and even the mediocre ones still sink a lot of time, money and energy into participating. Show some appreciation with a thoughtful gift – maybe even a card.
9.) Understand that things might not always work out as intended. It's impossible to have complete control over every single thing that goes down before, during and after the wedding. In fact, it's more or less guaranteed that something minor will probably crop up. Just accept it, move on and remember what the day really means. More egregious situations, however, obviously need addressing.
10.) What you want to do. Well, within budget, ethical and legal restrictions, anyways. While the opinions and input of others should matter, ultimately the couple has the final say in how they want everything to go. Though courtesy unto others should always factor into every nook and cranny of the planning process.
Don'ts
1.) Procrastinate. Budget for time as well as money. Persistently putting off important meetings or pushing back deadlines can spell doom for gathering everything needed for the desired ceremony.
2.) Discount the opinions of others. Yes, the final decisions about everything wedding-related do, in the end, fall on the couple's shoulders. At the same time, though, family and friends may also have some excellent advice or ideas as well – most especially those who've walked down the aisle themselves. Be sure to sincerely listen to their input before making definitive choices.
3.) Pitch hissy fits. The lucky Bridezillas and Groomonsters end up posted on Etiquette Hell. The not-so-lucky ones end up isolating family and friends (if not ending relationships outright), getting kicked out of businesses or arrested. Even if things don't happen as planned, seek out the best strategies for staying cool under pressure.
4.) Rush. Even small jaunts to City Hall require some modicum of planning. Take as much time as needed to ensure the wedding operates as smoothly as possible.
5.) Be angry if guests can't make it. Anyone holding a destination wedding will especially witness their guest list shrink because of monetary and vacation time issues. Even smaller events experience a high risk of a few people sending in negative RSVPs. That's the reality of adult life. Not everyone can make it to the wedding, so there's no use in expressing any anger towards the missing guest in question. However, it is still very rude for them to say yes, end up on final headcounts for food, favors and chairs, then turn up absent without any sort of explanation. Barring emergencies, of course.
6.) Make definitive promises. Like anything else, weddings can still throw even the most meticulous couples, families and planners for a loop. Promise to try, but realize that sometimes life has other plans precluding needs and wants.
7.) Forget backups. Whenever possible, set up a Plan B – even a Plan C for the extremely prepared (alternately, paranoid). Those aforementioned "other" ideas the universe throws at a couple are far more easily navigated when they take a lesson from Batman and come crazy prepared for everything.
8.) Forget appointments. Schedule appointments with different vendors in a way preventing any potential overlap. Do whatever it takes – notes on the fridge, a note on a smartphone, anything – to remember the dates, times and locations.
9.) Overbook. Make sure the headcount and the venue match up. It's not fair to either guests or the location to bring in more bodies than can be held.
10.) Agonize over every detail. One must stay organized, of course, but fretting too much over minor details can distract from the real reason for the day. Alleviate some of the anxiety by placing more concern with major elements and – more importantly – having fun.
